Braum's is a tough subject to write about. Most of you won't know what
in the world I'm is talking about. Most of you don't live anywhere
close to this one-of-a-kind restaurant. And for those of you who don't,
you owe it to yourself to sell your home and move closer. It's not just
a restaurant. It's also a dairy, an ice cream parlor, and a neighborhood
grocer, all in one building. In other words, it's an institution.
Very little has changed at Braum's over the years, and they like it that
way. Not only is it visually still, for the most part, as it was
in the '80s, but they also haven't downgraded the quality of their food
over the years like many other chains. It provides a very
comfortable feeling. Even their
website is still as it was in the '80s, back when websites were
still made by prisoners in a factory.
Let's take a tour of a Braum's store. First, the basics. A
typical Braum's is separated into three main sections: the dining area,
the ice cream counter, and the grocery area.
The dining area is like you'd find in most major fast food chains, a
counter to order your food at, menu on the wall above your cashier, soda
dispensers and those cool ketchup pumps that fill just the right amount
of goo in your tiny paper cup.
From here you can order some of the most awesomest--and forgive my
incorrect use of syntax, but they're really, really good--hamburgers,
crinkle-cut fries, and all other kinds of sandwiches and sides. One of
the menu items that has been available for at least the 20-someodd years
of my existence is the Bag-O-Burgers deal. Each bag contains five
junior-sized hamburgers, and costs about $5 and change.
The ice cream counter continues to the
other side of the main ordering area, and even has a queue line. From
here you can order so many good things--cones, cups, Mixes (the Braums'
answer to a Blizzard or McFlurry), frozen yogurt, banana splits, and
Candy Bar Sundaes (lovingly referred to by me as Instant Diabetes).
Hand-packed pints can also be ordered from here, and for those on the
go, the banana splits can even be packaged in their own to-go boxes.
The grocery store side of the building is what often fascinates first
time visitors to the establishment. You just don't expect to see frozen
cases containing the same ice creams you are about to order in their own
tubs, and certainly not beside a fresh produce section and three small
aisles of groceries. But here they are, in all their quality goodness.
(Note: Ice cream next to onions is weird) Almost every product Braum's sells is produced and
packaged in their own plants. They even produce their own packaging.
Items you wouldn't expect, as well. Frozen pizzas, sodas, even peanut
butters and breads--all adorned with the Braum's name.
Braum's only operates within a 300-mile radius of its headquarters in
Tuttle, Oklahoma. So mostly you will find these glorious curiosities in
the Panhandle and North Texas areas besides its home state. So when I moved away from
my Panhandle childhood home back in '92,
I had to give up some of the best memories of fresh food. There was the
time my grandmother brought home three Bags-O-Burgers during a rather
nasty spring storm, gladly stealing my attention from a day-old
episode of Hard Copy. And no, I don't know why that is what I was
watching.
There was also the night before I moved away from my
hometown, with a great dinner of burgers, fries and Mixes at Braums, and
leaving as the sun was setting, to see giant "bubble clouds" as I
childishly called them. They were beautifully purple and hanging high over the
giant restaurant's sign. It's funny the things you remember. Later I learned they were hail clouds and we
were about to have a series of tornadoes dancing around town that night.
But never you mind. Tornadoes are pretty.
Actual photo captured in 1992.
An interesting tie-in to another article here. To finally answer
your question of why he's in our header for this article, our ol' buddy
Erenst P. Worrell was quite the pitchman for Braums in the '80s.
He hocked everything from ice cream to burgers in a variety of
commercials. Even though Ernest is no longer at the helm of
Braum's advertising, if you're in the area, do yourself a favor and pull in and have one heckuva good burger. Without Kenan or Kel being present, thank you very
much.
Check out Ernest P. Worrell pitching Braum's restaurants in this reel of
commercials at our YouTube account, "cmonfwank"
or below!
